I think we know the answer to that question – and that’s not even the subject of the story, it’s just a funny headline. In fact, I was going to use “Skinny Bitch” in the headline – which is the name of a very popular book series – but was afraid of insulting someone on the internet, lest they google themselves. And who doesn’t? Monday night at Soho House L.A., these two super brunettes hosted a party for new LG mobile phones they’re promoting, and called it “A Night of Fashion and Technology.” It was more like a night of mini dresses and more mini dresses, in my opinion. The only thing technological about this event is how anyone can eat as little as these ladies. If anybody knows, please let me know. Whatever the reason, it’s no doubt very expensive. Victoria’s dress may have been the shortest – and it’s from her own collection, which is surprisingly good. Jessica Simpson, who came with sister Ashlee, also wore a Victoria Beckham dress – but it doesn’t fit her quite as well. Eva wore a short and fluffy semi-sheer Reem Acra mini – a designer she wears a lot of. January Jones had on a much reasonably priced Alice & Olivia backless dress, and looked chic as ever. And the event attracted pretty major names: Rosario Dawson, Anna Kendrick, Selma Blair, Vanessa Hudgens – and Rachel Zoe. We have a feeling Zoe may be the throughline here. – Merle Ginsberg

Now, neither of these ladies really flies under the radar, do they? Since they’re famous friends, they often shop together at Dolce & Gabbana on Rodeo Drive, and drag their sports star husbands (Tony Parker and David Beckham) out to parties so they can all get photographed together. Now LG Mobile phones has put them together to promote their new range of LG Fashion Touch phones – you can check out the teasers and photos of the ladies seductively holding colorful slender phones at Facebook.com/LGFashion, or type either of their names onto YouTube. This poster of the two them looks just a TAD airbrushed, wouldn’t you say? But at least it actually features two brunettes – so rare in Hollywood. But they will appear together in the flesh on Monday night May 24th at L.A.’s Soho House to celebrate the release of the LG Fashion Touch. After all, what’s a launch without a fashion party? The event will feature not one, but two d.j.’s: Tendaji Lathan and Kidada Jones. Of course, don’t even bother leaving your house if you’re not on the invite list. But we’ll bring you photos tomorrow.

Sir Richard Branson was in town this week to take part in the L.A. Brit Week festivities at the Beverly Wilshire – it’s a celebration of all things and people British in Los Angeles, of which there are many – from the pubs of Santa Monica to all the Brits in film and tv. Victoria Beckham stepped out in a man’s tuxedo look – we’re betting it was Dior Homme, since nothing else is cut slim enough for her – and Brit to SoCal transplant Zandra Rhodes also turned up. Tarina Tarantino isn’t the only designer with fuscia hair – Zandra started it all, kids. And this is how a 68 year old British fashion designer looks. We’re impressed! She’s been showing clothes at Neiman’s all week, and clearly, the word “compromise” isn’t in her vocabularly! There is that wonderful British philosophy that one should age in the most eccentric fashion possible – not the L.A. philosophy, for sure, but something we can learn from! – MG

OVERALL TREND: VB had a very posh little presentation in an Upper East Side townhouse, and greeted a small coterie of editors all by herself, discussing cuts and colors. Was she working extra hard to get rid of the constant rumor that designer Roland Mouret is the powerhouse behind her well edited collection? It did seem that way. This was a more fleshed out collection than she’s done in the past: there were minis, knee length cocktail dresses – and some even had sleeves! – and even a few gowns, as she recently dressed Jennifer Hudson for an awards show, and clearly wants to do more of that. Of course, the dresses were mostly fitted sheaths, but some had little A line skirts, and a bit of draping here and there in the body consciousness. It’s all very simple and stark and the dresses fit well – of course, on models smaller than Posh herself.

COLORS: Tomato red, a blue group, a tan group, a large black group, and a little bit of gold lame

BEAUTY: Why were the models all wearing small black round sunglasses? They’re cool – but this is a winter collection. The hair was mostly brunette and pulled back and teased in that Rihanna pompadour we’re seeing so much of lately. Well – guess what? It only looks good on Rihanna. This was a rather dour look on clothes meant for parties.

RELEVANCE TO HOLLYWOOD: Tons. Hollywood ladies like to show off their pilates and work outs, and they can sure do it in these looks. And they have that simple glamour that works in L.A. It’s clear Mrs. Beckham is thinking of Los Angeles with this collection – because a sleeveless little blue sheath won’t cut it in NY in the winter!!!! Where were the coats??? She apparently is wearing one of her own gowns to the Oscars, she declared – a buff-colored draped silk jersey gown with a grosgrain ribbon sashed around the asymmetrical bodice. We loved the gold lame’ wrap gown, very Jean Harlow 1930′s – and a woman of any age could wear that. That’s a piece to own. Whether or not we want “Victoria Beckham” on our label is another story.

It’s pouring down rain in Los Angeles, and it’s freezing in almost everywhere else in the world. But if you’re female, you’re probably fantasizing about your spring handbag already – it’s what we
commonly refer to as “girl porn.” Here are some handbags that we’re noticing are both looking looking – and turning up on the right arms. Both Victoria Beckham and Madonna have been spotted carrying the Dolce & Gabbana crochet version of the Miss Sicily bag, in black. It’s quite, and emulates the Hermes Birkin and the new Fendi bags as well, but the crochet adds the polish. For spring, they show it in white, which is just breathtaking. It may not be practical – but it’s breathtaking. And Satine boutique on Third St. and Crescent Heights is just getting in their spring order for new Alexander Wang bags – which are modern, hip, practical, and younger in feeling – the Eniko Gunny Sak and the Diego Bucket Bag are the hot styles, and they are only about $600 apiece! It’s a good idea to pre-order, because they don’t sit around for long.

The British Fashion Awards took place in London last night, with Burberry’s Christopher Bailey
winning Designer Brand of the Year, Georgia May Jagger being named Model of the Year, and Kate Moss picking up an icon award. But – take a gander at these outfits! Kate Moss wore a long black lace gown with a train, Victoria Beckham simply outdid herself, and we are loving Claudia Schiffer’s rose print dress, so flattering on her – and her lovely “fringe,” as they call them in London. British babes just really love their clothes – and they do it right.

The only good fashion “American Idol” has ever seen was on Adam Lambert this past season. He made America’s biggest schmaltz-fest into something with real rock glam credibility.

But now that Posh Spice, aka VIctoria Beckham, has signed on as guest judge – and is going to auditions around the country with Simon Cowell – expect to see some of Victoria’s own clothing line, plus pieces from her favorite designers Roland Mouret, Alexander McQueen. John Galliano, and Balenciago’s Nicolas Ghesquiere. However, when asked what she wants to see in an “Idol” contestant, Beckham claimed,  “natural style.”

When was the last time we saw her showing any “natural style”????? At least, we know “American Idol” will be looking a whole lot better when it returns in January. Sorry, Paula.

We know, it’s hard to imagine life without an awards show. In the meantime, our minds have turned toward spring apparel, and to – what else – handbags. Nobody wants to be seen with a consumery handbag right now – too expensive, too ornate, to “IN.” After all, it looks like Victoria Beckham is moving to Milan, which means L.A. fashion is about to get a LOT more relaxed.

Which is why we like this Miu Miu soft woven colorful bag for spring. It’s large, but not too large. It adds color to an already existing wardrobe of neutrals. And it’s not pretentious. And it looks like it could survive a few seasons without looking like yesterday’s news. Girls like Rachel Bilson and Camilla Belle (isn’t that a Jonas brother in that pic with her?) are already carrying it, getting a jump on spring. Of course, they got it for free, but it’s not really as expensive as many other designer bags. – Merle Ginsberg

Ooops, we mean BABES in black. Check out Victoria Beckham in one of her own new fall designs at the Elton John Oscar Party – pal Eva Longoria should have borrowed on of her posh dresses for the evening. And Sharon Stone has just never looked better. Sure, Vanity Fair was the IT party, but Elton had good star power – and good fashion. Sorry, black is not back, it never went away, and color is better when it’s on a 20 year old.