We never told you what Tilda Swinton’s Oscar cream twisted blouse and ruffled long black skirt was – it could have been Prada, Marni, even Dries van Noten. But in the end, we found out it was by Lanvin, the French brand by Alber Elbaz she wears frequently. The brand is a little slow with the press releases, but we kind of like their non-aggressiveness. It’s so -  Parisian. Sure, everyone said she looked too avant garde – of course, Fashion Rules LOVED her look. Evening separates are just damn chic. Alber’s highly anticipated fall Lanvin show is next week in Paris.

We just had to point out how chic and different and fashion-cutting-edge these two ladies looked at the Vanity Fair party on Sunday night at the Sunset Tower: Rachel Weisz in new Narciso Rodriguez (he is probably the hottest American designer right now, after his amazing fall show last week), and Salma Hayek in Balenciaga. Of course, since she surprisingly married Francois Pinault last week, who is the father of her baby girl, she will be wearing only labels by the Gucci Group: Bottega, YSL, Balenciaga, Gucci, Sergio Rossi – but nothing bad about that! She’s still got lots of good options! Let’s see if she shows up at the Paris shows of those brands next week.

Ooops, we mean BABES in black. Check out Victoria Beckham in one of her own new fall designs at the Elton John Oscar Party – pal Eva Longoria should have borrowed on of her posh dresses for the evening. And Sharon Stone has just never looked better. Sure, Vanity Fair was the IT party, but Elton had good star power – and good fashion. Sorry, black is not back, it never went away, and color is better when it’s on a 20 year old.

Now we know why Dita von Teese always wears black. Here she is in some yellow satin concoction at the Elton John Party – sorry, Dita. We like you better as a Goth. Sunny yellow does not become her.

It’s a shame that designers like Rodarte and L’Wren Scott and Zac Posen wo’t get the press they deserve because the ladies who wore their gowns didn’t get to traverse the carpet. But we’re sure the Academy’s happy the presenters were kept secret – the ratings on ABC of the Oscars went up six percert, which does not bode well for us knowing presenters in the future. In any case, we thought we would fill you in what you missed:

• Nicole Kidman’s white strapless sparkly gown was by L’Wren Scott, the stylist turned designer
• Reese Witherspoon’s two tone black and blue gown was by Rodarte
• Natalie Portman’s pink strapless silk gown was by Rodarte
• Tina Fey’s skintight silver gown was by Zac Posen
• Beyonce’s fishtail black and gold gown was by House of Derreon
• Halle Berry’s black and gold strapless was by Marchesa
• Jennifer Aniston’s silver dress was Valentino Couture

Everybody’s weighing in on Oscar fashion – even those highly well-dressed women on “The View” (if you didn’t denote a note of sarcasm in print, we’re letting you know – that’s sarcastic!). Consensus has it that Marisa Tomei’s Versace couture had too much fabric and pleating (that’s what designer Randolph Duke said on KABC last night), that Miley Cyrus was dressed far too old, that Kate Winslet looked amazing in her YSL chicness, that Penelope Cruz (in vintage Balmain) and Sarah Jessica Parker (in Dior couture) stole the night – this is what Fashion Rules has to say, since we certainly have our own opinion:

MAJOR HITS  

• Penelope Cruz in her vintage Balmain – the Oscar winner switched it up from black to white, and while her miles of latte-like froth did look a little bridal – it was still a stunner, with her Audrey style hair.
• SJP in Dior Couture – miles and miles of seafoam tulle – if only she’d run down the streets of Manhattan in it now!
• Natalie Portman in Rodarte fuscia – a strapless close fitting body skimming princess gown. She took our breath away – and definitely had the best makeup of the night. Or maybe it’s just the best face.
• Kate Winslet in YSL two tone steel gray and black lace – a fabulous combo, a new style look for the red carpet, a great label, and a great fit. Lots of controversy about that molded hair – we loved it. It’s SO new.
• Taraji P. Henson in white strapless tiered Roberto Cavalli with a major Harry Winston diamond necklace – she looked classy AND like she was having fun – a rare combo. And it fit her beautifully.
• Freida Pinto in John Galliano one sleeved electric blue lace. It looked Indian and Parisian at the same time, and made her look more impossibly gorgeous than she is. And that’s hard.
• Angelina Jolie in Elie Saab Couture. The dress was all about her body – as well it should be. Those green honking Lorraine Schwartz earrings and ring were amazing on her – and a whole different way to go for Oscar jewels.
• Nicole Kidman in L’Wren Scott feathered white gown – fabulous. She wore her longtime stylist’s designer – very loyal, and it looked great. Why didn’t anyone care, though?

MINOR HITS  

• Amy Adams in red Carolina Herrera with a Fred Leighton collar necklace. Redheads in red, it’s an old topic. Essentially, it was a risk – and while the dress fit perfectly, we wish it was green – or blue – red on a red carpet just screams. The necklace was gorgeous, flattered her eyes – but stole the dress’s thunder, and didn’t really work with the color red.
• Viola Davis in an accordian pleat gold deco gown by Reem Acra – very pretty, very appropriate. Very flattering on her.
• Evan Rachel Wood in pale Elie Saab couture – very pretty, and less Goth than usual.
• Marisa Tomei in pale silver Versace major pleated gown with train – okay, so it was a whole LOTTA dress, and the train was high maintenance. It was quite a stunner and a major high fashion dress. Marisa has emerged this awards season as a real fashion risk taker. We applaud her, and loved it.
• Diane Lane in a black Dolce & Gabbana corset gown. It’s impossible for this woman to look bad.
•  Anne Hathaway in white sparkly Armani Prive – okay, we liked the pailettes, even if it weighed two tons, and she always looks pretty – loved the clean hair and red lips. But she looked uncomfortable and weighed down, and we think she could have done better. And she has done better – the Globes dress was MUCH better.
• Tilda Swinton – she toned it down in a blouse and skirt ensemble that was chic, and we like evening separates. Her red lips looked great with it. She’s an Oscar avant gardist, and we love her bravery.
• Tina Fey – she didn’t wear BLACK!!! She wore silver!! She looked HOT!! And cool! In Zac Posen – what a cool NY girl should wear.
• Halle Berry in black strapless and gold Marchesa – pretty.
• Beyonce in a mermaid black and gold House of Dereon design, probably her own. Very sexy.

MAJOR MISSES      

• Heidi Klum in the red thigh-high slit giant collared Roland Mouret: sorry, Heidi – but a fashion professional gets judged even more harshly. You wore a red dress like this to the Oscars before. Come ON, the whole idea is to look different. We love Roland Mouret, but this one looked like something out of “The Jetsons” – and the high slit was more becoming to the Grammy’s. Do you really need that much attention? They better get “Project Runway” back on the air, pronto!
• Vanessa Hudgens in an encrusted Marchesa fishtail black and white gown – too much texture on too tiny a girl. Her hair and makeup were pretty, though.
• Sophia Loren – okay, so she’s an icon, and she’s nearly eighty. She was wearing a child’s dress in an adult size – and a deep fake tan in a yellow dress – please, let’s leave that to Donatella.
• Miley Cyrus – You’ve dressed like you’re 12. Now you dressed like you’re 40. What about 16? That dress by Zuhair Muhrad looked like it might have worked at the Oscars in 1958.
•  Goldie Hawn – Does it matter who designed that beige nightgown? Her tan boobs were falling out, and it was just – embarrassing. Has she ever heard the word “class” – ?

MINOR MISSES  

• Reese Witherspoon’s two tone black and blue Rodarte was fashion forward, but overwhelming on her – she’s too tiny for all that dress. Also, her hair and makeup just flopped. Stylists Claire and Nina Hallworth just don’t do her justice.
•  Jessica Biel – the bow front white Prada was a cool move, a very fashion move – but it obscured her amazing figure. Maybe women liked this dress – but men wanted that big bow GONE. Interesting choice, though.
• Meryl Streep – the dress actually wasn’t that bad. She’s done worse. Now that hair  . . . . .
• Alicia Keys – that lavender Armani Prive gown was great. The hair was WAY too big, and so were those earrings!!!!!
• Jennifer Aniston in silver Valentino strapless – again, she didn’t wear black – that’s major for her. However, leaving her hair down and undone, and wearing an old-school style gown – she looked like she doesn’t care about fashion. And she doesn’t.

 SJP in fabulous frothy mint green tulle on the Oscar red carpet! We’re having a fashion orgasm! Thank you, Oscar fashion gods!

Who knew she’d be there!!!! How fabulous is that giant skirt?

Gotta hand it to Elie Saab. He started out a few years ago dressing Halle Berry at the Oscars, and lately it’s been Beyonce. But at this Oscars, the Lebanese couturier who shows in Paris scored a BIG double header: dressing Angelina Jolie in a black couture made-for-her mouselene strapless and corseted gown. Her divine green diamond earrings and ring are by Lorraine Schwartz. Saab also scored an ivory strapless summer 09 couture gown on Evan Rachel Wood – who does not look Goth, for a change. His strapless gowns have amazing lift and structure.

  Best Supporting Actress Penelope Cruz is the evening’s best dressed at the Oscars, hands down. Her vintage Balmain gown has both the chicest label -a great color – and incredible detail in its beading, corsetting, tulle and chiffon. She’s been doing tight silhouettes at every show, it’s great to see her in a fabulous full skirt – whatta skirt! That’s whatya call volume, baby! We also love that she kept her hair Audrey Hepburn small, and her earrings and makeup chic and understated. She wins in EVERY category – finding a dress she’d seen years ago, pursuing her instincts.